Reflections

 It has been a busy and emotional week for me. We jumped right into school and work after traveling for 18 hours, and have had very little time to sit and just be present; not thinking about the next move, the next moment, or the ever-growing to do list.
But this weekend, we had a few moments to just sit and enjoy ourselves with new acquaintances met through our schools. We spent Saturday evening with a family at the Futakotamagawa Fireworks Festival and had a really great time. Just sitting back, watching the children play, and enjoying the show I was able to take a pause and just be in that moment. Before then, I found it really difficult to do so.


This week has been challenging, mostly emotionally. My school is very supportive and has taken really good care of the boy and I and made sure we aren’t stressing too much over getting settled. But realizing that despite their assistance, I am literally alone here in Tokyo. Sitting on my balcony this morning I realized that I have to learn to let people help me, particularly strangers.

I’m so used to doing things by myself, getting what needs to be done handled, that I rarely ask for help unless I am in dire need of it. But here, they recognize that I am alone and force me into a position in which I am uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

Already, this experience is teaching me how to let go, whether I am ready to or not.  I have to let those who ginuinely want to look out for me do so, without opposition.

I know I can and will figure out life here in Japan, but I need to learn and take advice and help from those who have been here and found their way already. It’s frustrating to be in this position, but I’m learning to submit to the will of the universe and just be.

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2 Comments

  1. I came across your story on IG through @matermea. I relate to you on so many levels. As a mother of 2 black boys too, I struggle and think of up leaving the U.S. and pursue opportunities for my boys to grow without having this cloud of hate and burden of being black over their lives. I am glad I came to your blog just as you start this journey, maybe your story will give me the courage to make that first step. I wish you all the best and I will be following your story along . Stay blessed!

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    1. Thank you so much, Liz. Your kind words mean a lot. It’s definitely not easy but I’m coming to realize it’s worth it in the long run. I wish you all the best to you and your sons.

      Like

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